Your Life Defining Moments

The day I married the man of my dreams !

We all have significant emotional events in our past that have shaped who we have become and continue to shape the choices and decisions we make today. Most people have between 6 – 10+ defining moments they can recall. Your memories evoke these events and your emotional connection (positive or negative) to these memories will continue to anchor the experience to current events in your life.

These anchors may empower and inspire you to BE more, achieve more, live more or they may disempower you, restrict your potential and tap into your greatest fears of not being loved, not being good enough and not belonging.

“What we think we become.” Buddha

It is during these moments that you will choose to attach meaning based on your physiology, your language and what you choose to focus on (based on your existing experiences and past beliefs). You will then develop beliefs that support the meaning you have given the event and will spend the rest of your life searching for evidence to support your beliefs.

Sounds like a viscous cycle doesn’t it? And it can be if the original belief you attached to the event was a limiting or negative one.

Your beliefs, at a young age, are also heavily influenced by your parents, close family members and friends. You might even have adopted their beliefs as your own without question. So you may be living your life based on your parents distorted view of the world as defined by experiences they had or mistakes they made when they were young. WOW !

“Patterning your life around other’s opinions is nothing more than slavery.” Lawana Blackwell

The first skip in determining whether your current beliefs are resourceful or not is to recall the past defining moment each belief was formed by or reinforced by (if passed down by parents) and assess the meaning you have given it. There is no right or wrong, simply your interpretation of that event and what it means to you.

This is an extremely valuable exercise and is an essential component of your extraordinary wellness journey. Please give yourself adequate space and time to really think about and explore your life and the significant events from your past that have shaped your current ‘map of reality’.

Choose your first defining moment to focus on and complete the following questions for that specific event. Then repeat the exercise for each of your significant emotional events (you are aiming for at least 8 defining moments): 

1. Where are you when this event occurred?
2. How old are you, what do you look like and who is with you?
3. What is happening, what do you see, what do you hear and what was said?
4. What transpires that makes this moment significant?
5. What emotions you are you feeling?
6. What are you telling yourself about this event? About yourself / other people?
7. How would you change this situation if you could?
8. What would you say and to who?
9. What would you want them to say?

 Awesome, you are magnificent. I acknowledge your courage, your commitment and your fabulous intentions. Well Done J

Now think about another Defining Moment and complete the same exercise. Then repeat this exercise for Defining Moments #3, #4, #5, #6, #7 and #8 (and more if you can recall additional events). Just keep going and trust what comes up. Make sure you join me for my next blog when I share with you my own journey of discovery...